to my dearest Raja Farah Afiqah

with her ssp/tkc so called style :P

im congratulating you for whatever result you've achieved, i hope it's not too late for me to carve a smile on your pretty lips. firstly, im showing you some kinda efforts because i need to tell you that i do love you.

PMR is just a test to help you on making decision of choosing your stream during form 4. you don't have to be ashamed of not getting 8A's, 7 is a big number. everyone is proud of you, so do i. i know you've made it to the fullest. i know you are one strong girl. so, don't break just because of you've failed to fulfill everyone's expectation. believe me, its an astonishing achievement you've got. don't ever dare to regret because God is giving you some other chance for you to grab. i know how it feels to be you farah. but one thing you also need to know is, everyone is envying your perfect life too. as for me, you have caring parents who'll always be at your back to catch you when you're falling. they love you for the way their daughter are. be grateful. there's no lacking in you. you are just perfectly perfect in being yourself. i know, you have a really big potential in the future, kiddo. its just you who haven't discover what it would be soon.

my dear,
i'm pleading. what past consider as pasts. there's no turning back on what you've done before. i do regret of the thing i missed, the thing i failed to do and so on. but, we still have future to face off. do what you want to do. don't cramp up your mind with those absurdity. form 4 is another tough task you need to face. you got to learn a lot from now on. form 4 isn't really a honeymoon year i tell you. so, make everyone proud of your result for SPM. i know you can.


im here again!

so just now i thought of something i usually write. which is of my feeling. again.

hello Ammar Fiqri! long time nothing written about you aite? with sincerity and passion, it happens for me to say i miss you! i'm hoping you're doing over-fine there. cause i'm super-fine here. i wish. well, no more romantic and tempting words, you say? here i go!

cause i'm no poetry, i ain't yet a psychatrist neither an angel to protect you. but i'll remain here to love you to no end. i'm no poetry to compose a lovely poem to you. i ain't yet a psychatrist to read your mind and reveal your frailty. i'm she. who used to love you for an uncountable times a day. for the count of grains of the sand in the world.

would you remember me? as the one who laughed with you all night long during phonecalls, the one who told you to eat everyday and would never care of how bloated you're tummy would be after that, the one who furiously sent you text when you fell asleep, the one who answered you're subuh demand calls, the one who i'd say the first thing that'd always came up first everytime you awake from sleep.

no one cares and nobody will of the feelings that we share. it's nothing to be flaunt because it is genuinely came from us. i'd say i love you everyday to you, but have you ever examined how determine i am and how deep are those three words for me? it's called awesome threesome by the way. you wouldn't know because you won't. i'm waiting because that's a promise. and i promised you there will be no regret again this time.

enough for tonight i think. everynight seems restless without you here. and i promise you, i'd nonetheless love you like before when i wake up tomorrow.

hello, im still alive!

sigh in relief. it has been quite sometimes since i last wrote in my abandoned despite a whole crap neglected blog. nothing private but im just too attached too tumblr these days, as i said earlier. there are tons of homeworks need to be done. i just can't wait for everything to end and for me to be at ease.

the school life is about to start. again. and 2013 is a year full of huge commitments and still a long way to finish. the massive exam which is SPM awaits and it scares me loads. i got a long way list of things-to-do after school! yay! just another run through this one year and everything seems to be over. i hate school, everyone does. i bet.

i hate school for some discouraging reasons. i hate the competition the school offers, no no, the Resilient offers. bull to the shit. if you're in my shoes, then you'll know how it feels to be me. to be a Resilient crew, to be a form 4 student. wasting times is something to no avail, yet it is something that strengthen the bond between me and the girls. they'd never fail to show me affections whenever i'm so welled up by tears.

oh, i miss them so much now. the laughters we squealed up all night, the gossips we spread dorm by dorm. the secrets we'd never keep. the surprises we made when the clock hand turns 12 at midnight. the scream shrieking by jokes and sacrcasm. and the fun we had throughout four years being together. through reality and trance. we keep on holding on together.

to embark a new year, i wish everyone an overjoyed fortune, shall us together to stand as one again as before. i miss those things though. i love you resilient babies :*